Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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