It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
