YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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