omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Randomize
