Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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