He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
