You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
