RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
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