the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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