What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
