Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
