Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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