My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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