i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
