We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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