Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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