if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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