I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
