I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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