how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
