I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
