My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
