I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
