Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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