I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
