I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
