Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
