i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
