I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
