grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
