you traded sex for a burrito?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
