I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
