Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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