Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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