This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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