Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
