help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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