So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
