He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize