We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
