Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
