This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
handjob tips. give me some.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
