Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
