Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
