It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
