i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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