we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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