i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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