Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
