i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
