We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
