Will you blow on my dice?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
