Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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