I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize