so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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