Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
