Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
