i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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