shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
