Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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