just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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