I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
