Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
