yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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