I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
